To keep us clever

PUNS…

Im reading a book on Anti-Gravity. Can’t put it down.

I am learning to use Sign Language. I find it handy.

A cannibal arrived late for dinner. The family gave him the cold
shoulder.

Have you tried to eat a clock? Its time consuming.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping Centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws.
A comma is a pause at the end of its clause.

Blogger Barry: Thanks for your time. Hope you enjoyed. Please
use the comment and follow buttons.

Barry Blomkamp Nd. Bsc (UL)
Professional Public Speaker, Trainer and Corporate Entertainer,
Motivational speaker, Guest & Key note speaker, Seminar &
Conference speaker, Team Builder, Comedian, Master of Ceremonies,

For your Strategic Planning sessions, Management or Sales meetings,
Conferences and/or Seminars, Award functions, Year end parties,
Christmas parties,

Cape Town, South Africa.

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