A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.
He walks up to the driver’s window and asks, “You drinking’?”
The driver said, “Well that depends – You buying’?
A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to
send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business
site and the owner read the card, “Rest in Peace.”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry
he was, the florist replied, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the
mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this.
Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have
flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location!
A Mexican bandit made a point of crossing the Rio Grande from time
to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered
for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite
cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the
bandit’s head, and said, “You’re under arrest. Tell me where you
hid the loot or I’ll shoot you.” But the bandit didn’t speak
English, and the Ranger didn’t speak Spanish.
The Ranger asked a local to translate his message. The terrified
bandit blurted out, in Spanish, the loot was buried under the oak
tree in the back of the cantina. “What did he say?” asked the
Ranger anxiously. The local answered, He say, “He no afraid to die.
A priest was invited to attend a house party. Naturally, he was
properly dressed and wearing his priest’s collar.
A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the
priest asked the little boy what he was staring at. The little boy
pointed to the priest’s neck.
When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at, he
asked him, “Do you know why I am wearing that?”
The boy nodded his head, yes, and replied, “It kills fleas and
ticks for up to three months.”
Blogger Barry: Thanks for your time. Hope you enjoyed. Please
use the comment and follow buttons.
Barry Blomkamp Nd. Bsc (UL)
Professional Public Speaker, Trainer and Corporate Entertainer,
Motivational speaker, Guest & Key note speaker, Seminar &
Conference speaker, Team Builder, Comedian, Master of Ceremonies,
For your Strategic Planning sessions, Management or Sales meetings,
Conferences and/or Seminars, Award functions, Year end parties,
Cape Town, South Africa.